BY TIYA PARMAR
DISCLAIMER: PLEASE READ WITH AN OPEN MIND. I TOO AM JUST A TEENAGER.
When we were little walking, talking toddlers, lost in our mindless crusades of curious
exploration, we discovered pleasure. Of the sexual variety (though we didn't know it as that,
then). And we didn't deny ourselves from experiencing that pleasure. However, as we got older and older, we got this idea that touching our own genitals (much less other people's) was a sin, a taboo.
Society, plagued by thoughts of religion and karma and responsibility and maturity, expects
teenagers to behave as adults, and yet, it does not give them the freedom to show an interest in adult activities, like sex.
I’m not trying to prove that people think sex is bad, because let’s face it- WE are a result of sex (contrary to the many stories we’ve been told!). Many people like having sex, but the law only recognizes the rights of those above 18 (in my country at least) to have sex. There are good reasons for that; youngsters are notoriously known for being irresponsible and there are chances of pregnancy or spreading of STDs, for which teens may not be prepared, mentally or physically. However, instead of immediately making a victim and predator out of people participating in underage coitus, instead of immediately calling it a case of statutory rape, the law should ask whether it was consented sex or not. Many innocent people's lives have been destroyed as a result of simple curiosity.
It is not only the law, but also society as large, that discourages youngsters’ from
exploring their sexuality, telling them that it is nothing they need to concern themselves with, that it would just lead them astray. Many parents and guardians are afraid of their children becoming sluts or players or whatever else it may be called, of them being hurt or bullied or used just for liking and being inquisitive about sex, of them being raped because they were asking for it. All these concerns and more may be well aimed, but when has forbidding something ever stopped a teenager from doing it? It is the reason why many children turn to erotic and pornographic books and movies (other than the obvious excitement)- in the hopes of receiving some positive answers to the ever elusive and ambiguous nature of sex.
For us, the idea of sex is a mystery. You know the details, the do’s and don’ts, but only the
experience can tell you what you like and (if involved) what the other person likes, what it feels like, is it really as life changing as people make it sound, etc., etc. It also really doesn't help that as we start becoming more and more aware of our bodies, we also start becoming aware of other's bodies around us. We start wondering how that body would feel to our fingers, how our body would feel being caressed by other's hands, and all this wondering just escalates the craving for the actual act. It is thoroughly frustrating. I haven't had sex with another person, yet. But I know I will one day, soon enough.
In the mean time, though, I am trying to understand my desires, my fantasies. I am exploring, using my mind (and hand). I recognize these thoughts as a part of myself and, even though I loath to confess, sometimes I do feel guilty. For what? I don't really know. What I do know is that sex can empower people, make them feel good about themselves and the world, and it is foolish to be guilty over something that makes you feel like a literal goddess. Sex is spiritual. And the best ever thing in the world, besides food.