By Arshia Franklin
This one’s for those who shaped me and made me into who i am today.
Without y’all I couldn’t have learned how to look and understand someone inside out rather than just thinking that they’re good for me because they portray themselves like that and eventually end up trusting them blindly.
When i felt like a part of my heart was ripped from me...then I realised that y’all shaped me.
In my opinion, it’s important for every individual to have fake/toxic friends at some point of time in their lives because that makes you realise how the actual world is. At first i had an image of the world that’s all ‘rainbows and unicorns’ but when we actually step out of our bubble we realise thats not true.
Every phase of our life teaches us something or the other and makes us a better person.
For me, the phase that changed me almost completely was the few years of my junior college. At first i had a lot of friends because i was with the mindset that having a lot of friends is important rather than having just one or two because YOLO and you need to live your life to the fullest.
As time passes by you realise that all of this is just temporary, you go to parties together, bunking, even road trips and picnics but is that what life’s all about? Just partying and living the ‘social teenage life’...I don’t think so.
Everyone has their own ups and downs and need someone by their side to be supportive and to cheer them up. When I was going through a rough patch in my life i was messed up and all i had was two of my friends who believed in me and that i could get through it.
“A real friend is the one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”
That very moment i realised that there’s no use of having many friends because when ur in need they’re not there for you. Someone said it right ‘smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone.’
It was like an eye opener to me, i was no longer the ‘people pleaser’ and now i choose the people i love very carefully and with consideration.
Somewhere they take away your innocence and that’s maybe how it is supposed to be.
There will be many situations that’ll make you realise who’s fake and who’s real and that just helps you get stronger and shows you the value in understanding people for what and who they really are. You can’t always be a giver, in a friendship the efforts put in should be equal.
The person you needed to rely on the most is yourself.
On the other hand, the ones that have always been there for you will always want the best for you. When needed they’ll be a good listener and you can just vent everything out without getting judged. They’ll also give you their opinions and even correct you at times when you’ve done something wrong. Those friends who save our name behind our backs, we need such people in our lives rather than having someone who just agrees to whatever the opposite person says about you regardless of it being true or not. And such people just want fame and always play safe from both the sides and just act neutral to be in everyone’s good books.
Bestfriends have a very different bond all together, the trust level is max and they know eachother’s darkest secrets. You can be yourself when you’re around them and do the goofiest things together. They’re with you during your good and bad times,both.
In any relationship, that one thing that we shouldn’t have is ‘ego’ because being egoistic takes you nowhere in life.
If you have even one friend that has been there for you through thick and thin just hold onto him/her and never let go, because these days having even one true friend is like a blessing.
Thank you for every lesson that you’ve taught me. Because I couldn’t be prouder of who i am today, and that’s cause of you.