• Les Gazzette


By Ovee Tokekar

In Greek, ‘nostalgia’ literally means “the pain from an old wound”. It is a twinge in your

heart far powerful than memory alone-the feeling and ache for the yearning of going back

to a place we never wanted to leave in the first place. I am having the moment where I am

thinking about all the beautiful things that used to be and now unwittingly, my lips curve

upwards and tears roll down my eyes and I think- it is these memories now that I have and

nothing more. They live with me so that when I look back at them, I can remind myself that

there was a time like this that I was so perfectly happy. See, that’s the thing about

photographs too. They tell you that in that particular moment, even if for a single second,

even for a heartbeat, life was perfect and you were happy. That smile in the photograph

makes you laugh and cry at the same time…

Do you know what a memory ghost is? Naïve cheating in tests, food fights, teachers yelling

while we shamelessly didn’t give a care, moments when we tried and pretended to study so

hard only to impress the teacher but then all the concentration lost when your partner did

something that made you snort, the disappointment when the teacher made us sit away

from our best friend especially when you had to sit with someone you didn’t really like, the

blame games, the red hands, the pen fights, the class cricket where the ball was made of

paper and the bat was a notebook, the last pages of your notebook filled with maths

calculations and other random crap, the not eating your own lunch but eating from

someone else’s, the silent competition with friends about who got the most number of

friendship bands, the folding of a page to make sections in your notebook or to fold it

because you messed up, the chorus and musical “good morning ma’am”, the “get outs”, the

“is this a fish market?!”, the “pin drop silence”, the “fold your hands and finger on your

lips”, the “I am in front of you so why are you looking behind?”, the “ma’am pls let us go

down to play” have all played a part so significant in my life that when I think of school I

think of all this-like a reflex. This is a memory ghost. It’s a memory that is so strong that it

has been able to leave an invisible mark and can never be forgotten.

When the last school year started, all of us thought- just survive through this and then no

more. Little did we know that when that no more came, we wished it would last a little

longer. We were all to leave that place we called “second home” and then scatter with

nothing but a piece of each other living in memory. Now when we have so much time to

sleep and the whole day to wile away, we want to go back there if only it meant that we get

a few more moments together and a few more after that and a few more after that.

It is said that you shouldn’t cry over something because it’s over instead you should smile

because it happened. Why can’t we be crying over it because it is over and never coming

back and AT THE SAME TIME be glad that at least we had the chance of making amazing

memories together? That is the beauty of reminiscing memories. When you look back at the

tears, you would laugh and when you look back on those laughs, it would make you cry.

These tears won’t be just some water pouring down your eyes. They will be the memories

that sneak out of our eyes and then roll down your cheeks and then dry there till you wash

them off. Those which were your most favourite hellos will be your most painful and

difficult goodbyes.

This quote struck me hard and fast- the first day of school ever was a day that we spent on

crying as we looked at unfamiliar faces. On the last day of school ever, eyes are glassy when

you look at those familiar faces. These two days are separated by a decade that was an

unforgettable journey and probably the best journey of my life- ever and those days are so

much different from each other. On the former, we were hesitant to open up to strangers

and on the latter, those strangers became a family so intimate that they knew every inch of

you…every time the memories are like a rose bush- the thorns prick as you enter them but

then the sweet fragrance of those flowers comes drifting towards you and then sucks you

into a world so beautiful and amazing.

Nostalgia is an indefinable sentiment. It’s almost like happiness but with a lot of sadness and

a hint of longing all thrown in a good measure to take you somewhere else, giving you a

brief time travelling experience. In that brief moment, you can experience all your

memories, sentiments and feelings you once held for something in your past… My school

journey was impeccable, it was something that I will always remember with the people that

I will always love and never forget…

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